Sweetness in Starlight

“I will bless the Lord, who has given me counsel. My heart instructs me in the night seasons.” Ps. 16:7

I lay here, in rest and recovery from external inflicted injuries on my knees tonight, but am amazed at the mirror it is to my internal wounded spirit currently. Physical surgeries seem to mimic and motion that of heart surgeries lately. He is sweet to depict things for me visibly. The Grand Healer touched my torn temple and the Grand Weaver stroked my desperate soul simultaneously this evening. A sleepy wound was just aroused in my heart through my mind’s eye view. “Accidently” seen and entertained pictures of his happiness sparked buried memories that reminded me of my lack, stealing my joy almost in a second. Viewing pictures of my past love and his present one sends my heart into haunting nostalgia. These identical cries again remind me of my longing and the gaping hole he left behind. Why me? My finger is empty and my heart is porous. She wears what I once did and has what I once had.

However, rebuking lie and demanding truth in the inner parts, I lifted my eyes though they were heavy. I longed to destroy every speculation that raised itself against the knowledge of You and our union. Though I shed familiar tears last night, He wiped them away with familiar Hands. I knew He heard me. My prayer was “Rescue me from the pending questions and “what ifs” I so easily ask, for they are merely wasteful speculations that accomplish nothing but theft. They steal all that I know to be true.” So I begged and pleaded all in a moment’s notice for Him to take captivate my thoughts on truth in obedience to Himself. “Destroy all that rises against You, against us, my God. Put my mind in prison to you that it might know freedom from him”, I internally screamed. At those crossroads of “remember when” or “praising now”, I turned to Jesus in Praise, anyway. With little spirituality and no magic phrasing, I simply called upon the only name I knew, asking for revelation in power, in prose, and in presence. Not only did I call, but I opened all that I have ever known as a vault of safety and balm, the Word. Then to my devotional books, which have become a refuge to me in ache, I escaped.

This is the small account of His response to my impulsive reaction. He has a way of turning my winter into spring with one word in one minute. He could and can take the empty tomb of love and roll away the stone, raising it from the dead. Only He can make a beautiful picture out of my broken pieces. “My love story is the hinge on which my ministry will turn”- famous quote at age16 that has marked this 10 year journey thus far. Little did I know the stringent prophecy that innocent proclamation embodied. Neither this hinge would I have secured or this story would I have written. But, It is a story without a conclusion as of yet… it is one with continuation still. It seems to be a continuation of the same theme… But God! Those two words usher in a semi-comfort… But God responded.

In this state of semi-comfort, the head phones went in and my heart escaped upward to the music that sung over me. He quieted me with His love. Jason Upton’s words soothed me and sent me high above my chair. “Call to Me, My beloved, come up here to Me…” Then my mind recalled a previous Word spoken to me through I Pet 5:9-10. This verse beautifully haunted me again from the summer of 2005 when tears were first bottled over this love loss. Here I am four years later… so the same and oh so different. “Perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish” after suffering for a little while is the premise. My “WHILE” seems longer than a little, but I trust you now in the midst of heart ache and brokenness knowing that You are the Grand Weaver. You have penned and woven this. I looked up to my Lord. ‘Please kindle this suffering of a broken heart and ending love into that of a flame that it might perfect me through love, confirm in love, strengthen me for love, and establish me to love.’ LOVE! That theme, oh that theme! It is the signature that is signed on every scar and every crown I bare. It has brought such defeat yet victory in my life. Another song rang into my ears at that moment “I was made to love and be loved by You.” Wow! How perfectly timed He spoke and sung to me. His word came alive again “… for the Lord will be your everlasting light and the days of your mourning will be ended.” Another translation said “your God will be your beauty… the days of your mourning will be finished”. YES!

That word, Finished [Shalam] meaning to be whole, sound, safe, to be complete, and to be restored. It is an attitude of the heart with the principal meaning of completion and fulfillment. It is the desirable state of wholeness in which relationships ( of love) are restored. WOW! That was my groaning. He said it better than I could. ‘Thank you for interceding for and through me with words beyond my own comprehension through that of Your Word’. I claimed that Word and Hope and Promise. I clung tight to Him! As you read this, cling tight even now while He might be found. Wherever you are in your thought life, cling tight to the confidence that you have in Him. My mind then wondered from pity to pastures as I thought on Ps 23. The Lord is my Shepherd, I will not want. He restores/finishes my soul!

The night season with Him was coming to an end, for sleep was creeping upon me, when I read Ez. 34:16 “ I will seek what was lost (companionship) and bring back what was driven away (marital love), bind up the broken (the body) and strengthen what was sick (my faith).” I claimed that promise over every area parenthetically. He is the Grand Weaver, not a Waster. He does not waste but recycles all wounds of death into wombs of life. My tomb became a womb last night and hope was resurrected for what I again believe by faith through the act of Praise. Numbers 21:17 “Spring up O well, sing unto it”. Praise is the gateway to blessing despite feeling or sight. Praise unleashes faith! I praised Him anyway. I praised Him for that him and that union excluding me. I praised Him for my coming him and that I was not taken. With ache but genuine praise, I appreciated not being chosen or given away YET. The only Him in my life rode into the room for certain rescue! Praise never loses its savory affect on pain. It sweetens it in the stillness of starlight. Praise still opens fountains in the desert of barrenness. The Barren land of Longing was and will be turned into fields of Fruited Harvest because of the Living waters rushing through her. Rivers of blessing have flowed throughout this entire life and story of mine. I must dig deep into my abandoned but awakened heart and find the river flowing beneath. A river of faithfulness and hope and plans beyond that of my own making rush fast by me as I recount the Truth! “No eye has seen or ear heard all that You have in store, laid up for me, who love You.” My shovel to dig down into the depths of my shaking heart is that of Praise! I thanked Him anyway. Trails are blessings in disguise.

The lullaby hushing me to sleep was, “Sarah, are you willing and daring to praise Me in advance for the things that have not yet come and for the things that have passed? You have been passed over not passed by. Praise Me now for your faceless nameless but existing husband. Praise Me now for the previous and present journey, for it IS GOING SOMEWHERE. Praise Me that there are no “dead ends” where I drive. All can be and will be resurrected. Praise Me in the sweetness of this starlight tonight! When I was with my Daddy my innocence was restored and only sweetness lingered in every gaping but closing hole.

For truly He instructed me in the night season and laid me to rest with speculations crucified and hopes resurrected…
Thank you for my physical ailments that paved the way for my spiritual alignments tonight!

There is a divine imagination, give it wings for its needing aviation.
Every little hope I’m holding inside, in Him tonight I sweetly confide.
In my eye He has given a gleam, for He’s birthed my dream.
Before seeds become fruit there was planted vision. The planting now beckons the shower of His wisdom.
I’ve waited, I’ve prayed, I’ve dreamed up to the sky, now my soul begins to fly…
My dark season’s night is met now with His sweetness in starlight.
He’ll tear down the walls, walk where I cannot, roll away the stones, and untie every painful knot.
I know the dream will fly with wings beyond imagination for He is the fueling aviation.
Listening to His voice, sparks ignite; letting Him remove my weakness, replacing it with might.
My dark season’s night is met now with His sweetness in starlight.
Now my spirit is lifted high, for the gleam has returned in my eye.
My soul ascends on the wings of our dream and begins to fly.

Catalyst

Catalyst: something that causes an important event to happen...

Well in LA this last week at the first ever WEST COAST CATALYST! It was a something that caused an important event to happen. A catalyst for hope, movement, change, and risky passion in me for the future ahead of me. I was honored to share a row with excitable women that desire God! We truly did sense His presence, His truth, and His guidance. The speakers were incredible, the company was rich, and lessons were learned! I sat much and now am soaking often in all that was taught. I am feasting still! Taste and See that the Lord is good! I am tasting little bites of Him as I sift through so much activity in my heart and life currently.God has a way of engaging us in the story He is unfolding. He engaged me 10 years ago by calling my name at ONEDAY. He engaged 5 years ago through breaking my name through ONE man. He engaged me 2 years ago with ONE long sitting in His word for 5 months in Austria. He engaged me 1 year ago to leave a job and journey towards a passion. He engaged me yet again a matter of days ago as I marinated in the Catalyst Conference.

So much momentum, so many thoughts, a myriad of dreams, and a mighty God in front of me. Thank you Catalyst for being just that- something that caused and still is causing an important event to take place in my heart, through my life, and for my future!

Here are the nibbles from the LA Feast:

-Retreat back to the vision in times of uncertainty in order to never let uncertain times rival clear vision. God- grant me Your clear vision despite uncertainty.

-Be more interested in God developing you than man discovering you. Lord I pray for you to continue to develop me in this journey of life and guard from the illusion of being “ discovered” by man or ministry.

-Hedge of protection is around us! You tube Tim Hawkins... Hilarious!

-John 6- the spirit brings life and the flesh accomplishes nothing. Apart from YOUR SPIRIT Lord I can do nothing, know nothing, and be nothing. I wasreminded of what passionately and simply LOVING Jesus looks like as we abide in and on His Spirit for everything!

-Divert Daily; Withdraw Weekly, Abandon Annually. Oh what an escape LA was for me! May we all never be too busy to divert, withdraw, and abandon unto our King in the midst of life's noise…

-Leave everything behind in order to gain everything ahead! Pressing on, MOVING forward to the upward CALL of God in Christ Jesus on my Life. Sometimes God puts us in prison to truly set us free!

-Come along side of others and enable their visions and dreams- yours will explode as a by-product! Awaken many and remain eyes wide open to look for opportunities to be a catalyst of other people’s dreams. This is my desire and my destiny- to awaken and accomplish the dreams of many women!

-EZ 37- One of my favorite passages of scripture in the Old Test!!!!! Breathe your Breath Oh God on all that seems like dry bones… YOU can do this! He who is able to do beyond what I can ask...Eph 3:20

-Being a LINE 3 believer- move past benefiting from the gospel through contributing in the gospel to sacrificing for the gospel!!! Knowing Christ, not about Him, is the Gospel of Good news that shods our feet with Peace…

-Movement forward engages God. The levitical priests tip toed into the River Jordan before the raging waters moved.

-The Church is not safe but dangerous- or at least it should be a dangerous movement of people who actually believe who He is and what He says! Our message is one of power and a sound mind not tossed by this Life's definitions of Christianity or Church.

-Faith is Full Assurance in the Heart and Fear is false evidence appearing real. God replace our fear with faith- the evidence and substance of things unseen yet so realized in hope that we can taste those things!

-Let a hundred flowers blossom around you! Be a blessing to those intended and to those ignored...Be ready to be used by Many and poured out for many-known and unknown. -Do not compare to yourself or think highly of yourself.

-Look in the mirrior of life and see only CHRIST, not failure or success.-Be leary of accepting fault for failures because that would assume your responsibility for successes. It is only in and through Christ that life unfolds or unravels.

Your life is now hidden in Christ! Col 3

Moved,

Sarah

The Beverly Hills of Blessings and Brokenness

With hours in the airport, prayers on my knees, and 10 bumped flights later, I landed in Hollywood. It was late but I was very awake in heart and mind when my trip began this past Friday. I was longing to be with my Katherine and to minister fresh breath to Lacey, one of my BHAM Bible Study girls. The night commenced with Lacey and I talking in bed and praying for the morning to follow.

I woke up Saturday morning with an divine anticipation to see, hold, and comfort Katherine at UCLA hospital. Lacey dropped me at the front door with flowers, gifts, and scripture in hand. My heart was beating quickly and the tears began to roll swiftly, as my feet made their way into "Katherine's Korner" of the 100 West Building. I was met by sweet Kelly, a dear friend of Katherine and Jay from Bel Air Pres. We shared a hug and sat together while the personal finished bathing and prepping Katty for her day of therapy and visitors. Kelly and I were summoned, not long after we sat, to enter Katherine's room of peace and calm. I walked in and my eyes fell onto my beautiful Katherine. She was gently lying on her back with eyes and mouth wide open, in smile, as she and I locked gazes. The tears came for me, not because of what I saw nessecarily, but of Who I was in the presence of that morning. Jesus was absolutely evident and vivid in her countenance, her room, and her posture. He was holding her up, smiling through her, and communicating loud and clear, even through her silence.

I took my place at her side, where I had been envisioning myself for weeks, grabbed her hand, kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear: "Katty, He is alive in you and well. You are held tightly and called for such a time as this. His story and glory are ringing loud! You are radiant. I know you believe Him and I believe Him with you". She looked at my with her eye and I knew my Katherine was completely present in that moment. With much effort and little assistance with the therapist present in the room, she mustered up my name for the first time. "S-A-R-A-H"! Kelly and I, jumped up and down, dried tears, and looked at one another. 'She is going to recover", we said and celebrated in our hearts. I saw Katherine, or Jesus rather, in her gorgeous blue eyes, her beautiful crooked smile, her simple whispers and her endearing "thumbs up". Katherine Wolf, though in a body out of her control, was absolutely the way I knew her always to be. Her mind and personality are sharp and in tact. She has kept her fantastic sense of humor and Southern Charm even in this testing period. She is known as a lady in the hospital because of her polite bedside manners and quiet spirit. I stood in awe of my dear friend and my dear Lord in her. It was breath-taking!

Therapy began immediately and abruptly after my arrival. They let me stay and actually be apart of her therapy sessions in speech, muscle memory, and standing. She is literally proving doctors, therapists, and trainers WRONG on a daily basis. What they say she cant do or wont be able to do for a long time, she does it before they end their sentence. She is making strides in every direction to remove her Trach, re-train her right side, and relive the sensation of walking, eating, and talking. She threw a beach ball to me with BOTH hands. She spoke to me about Sweet Baby James, through hand motions, whispers, and head nods. She laughed and actually "bowed" as we reminensced to the nurses of her 'Ms. Samford' days. She rolled her eyes at her husband, Jay, when he was trying to be funny. She has kept her sense of style fashion undistrubed and her spirit of faith remaines unwavering!! With her yellow shirt, beautiful blue eyes, and a fashion ring on her hand, we experienced therapy and milestones together almost every hour! In exhaustion, after much activity and handling, she is lowered back down into her wheel chair and taken back to bed. Her frail little body was hoisted back into the comfortable flat back position as I nuzzled next to her, ready to watch the DVD I made in her honor. Phil Whickam's "Divine Romance" began to sing throughout her room as tears rolled down her face and the video started. It was so moving! Words are unworthy to describe that moment for me. As I stroked her arm and gripped her hand, she pointed to her heart, looked at me and said, " I believe Him". I cried, " I know", in return. Scripture verses and peoples voices from Samford and Birmingham flooded the TV screen and her sunlit room. It was a divine moment. God rushed over me in a loud tangible peace with, 'SHE WILL ARISE AND HEAL". " Sarah, I will restore health to her and I will heal her of all wounds!" Jeremiah 30:17 "I will sustain her on her bed of illness and in her sickness, I will restore her to health, Sarah!" Psalm 41:3

As the weekend drew to a close, I spent more hours in the hospital with her and Jay, hearing the story, laughing over memories, and looking, with hope and praise, towards the coming days. In between prayerful times with them, I poured life into Lacey, enjoyed the minstry of Mosaic Church, ate at THE IVY Restauarant, and spotted "the famous" on corners. Throughout all these memorable moments, nothing could rival the divine moment that had taken place and continued to in my heart...

Jesus Christ has the name above every other name! Jesus, not Paris Hilton ( whom I had lunch next to) is the only Name worth knowing and shouting from every corner. Jesus Christ is the Famous One! Jesus Christ is the Healer of the broken, which leaves no one left out. Katherine, me, the Who's Who of Beverly Hills are all broken people in our own way, that need a Savior, a Healer, and a very Present Help in times of need! He hears our hearts and hems our holes. Katherine Wolf is one with Christ and ALIVE in Him! She is ringing louder than those on TV in LA, with whom she once did life with, because of WHOM she believes! We know WHOM we have believed and are persuaded that He is able! II Tim 1:12 She is more alive now than ever before. There is a difference in merely living life and being ALIVE! Those who are in Christ can no longer simply "live" and exist but are invited to be ALIVE. He is our Life! Katherine exemplifies this and believes this. I experience this and believe it with her, as well. If only Beverly Hills knew the Blessings we know, see, and believe in Jesus! Katherine is unfolding before our very eyes. He is real. He is alive. So is she...

I boarded the midnight plane EARLY Monday morning with a visual image that I will never "get over"... Katherine's precious lips mouthing as best she could, " Thank you. I believe Him. "

Do you?

Fear of From

My heart awakened to a truth last night as I thumbed the pages of journals past and scriptures present. My journals from seasons of old can sometimes invite me to fear what was then and to wonder about what is now. However, The scripture invites and enables and demands that we "take all thoughts captive unto the obedience of Christ". (II Cor) What do "captivated thoughts" resemble? The thoughts of our past, holding fast to the fact that Christ works all things to the good of those who love. (Rom 8) The thoughts of our currency, that Christ is with us now and will never abandon His abiding presence in us. (Jh 15) The thoughts of our future, clinging to our unchanging God who states with His charcater and supplies in our circumstances, a "future and a hope without harm". (Jer 29)
However, the battle of the mind that can rage, keeps us from this very state of peace, if it goes undefeated. The enemy's weapon is that of fear. Fear is the disabler of such a blissful state of thought. The fear of where we come from can be paralyzing if allowed to captivate our thoughts! Fear is the grand stealer of the moments' beauty and the futures' joys. It is the signature of the enemy that longs to erase the fingerprints of the Father.
Sometimes, it is beyond simple to fear the previous chapters of my story and therefore fear the coming ones. In doing so, I allow fear of ifs to rob me the truths of Him! Fear is underestimated as only an action, but it can be a powerful state of mind that stands in complete opposition against our Lord. The "innocent" first entertainment of fear on where I have come from, can before long, spiral into a way of relating to God and others. How can anyone recieve my broken story? How could God's goodness allow such a wrecked image? It removes the knowledge and proven experience of His character and it mars the view of love and community. Fear makes it possible and probable to stand with closed arms and questioning eyes at the stories and "baggage" of those we rub hearts with throughout life's journey. How can I accept their brokenness (yet expect then to carry mine)? How can I open up and recieve their apparent abrasions (but long for them to heal my hidden holes)? Fear is the grand stealer of God's artwork in our life story and community with other life stories.
We are all broken and have all " come from" something or someone, but we are all going towards Someone as well. That is the common denominator known as Hope. It is this hope found in Phil 3:12-14 that has raptured my heart recently. The hope that invites me to "forget", not fear, what lies behind, and move forward to all that lies ahead! The only way this Hope is possible and present to me, is if I reckon that my only Hope is Christ IN ME ALONE! (Col 1)He was in my past. He is in my moment. He will be my future. Wow! This state of mind leaves no room for fear or regret, because everything works for the good of those who truly love Him with all their heart, their mind, their strength or lack therefore, and their soul! Let us not fear the from where we come but anticipate toward the ahead where we are going; or should I say where He is taking us! To God be all the glory for the past, the present and the future! Amen...

Unexpected Turns...

Hey…

It has been a while since I have written. So, I thought it was time and wise to write once again. Well, it has been a packed and very busy last few months. I have spent much time with friends, rehabbing my knee, hosting house guests, bible studies, attending weddings, sitting at my desk, traveling to Atlanta, planning parties for work, and organizing the rest of the summer schedule. My job is dull at the moment but where I need to be during this season. I am just merely grateful for insurance and benefits! My knee is doing better and better with time and training. I am exercising regulating and working hard to build all my muscles back. Thanks for your concern and prayers about my knee and health.

On a more specific relational note, I have been submerged in the Word and in the counsel of many dear friends and mentors for the last week and half. Ps. 56:8 says that the Lord bottles all our tears. He has definitely brought and bottled my tears as of late. He wounds but He heals says Hos. 6. Right now, my heart is truly writing from a place of progressive healing and with a smile and strength as mentioned in Prv.31:25. Rob drove up from the beach on Sunday June 24 and ended everything in our relationship. He said that over time he really felt that we were not heading in the same direction. I cannot begin to tell you the love and respect I have for him as my best friend. He was honoring, sincere, humble, and sympathetic. We shared tears and hugs for a while. I was in complete submission and agreement with him and Him that day! We prayed together through the scriptures verses in Daily Light that day that were literally penned for us! They were amazing. God truly was making this decision, not Rob and not I. Listen to the verses we both had read that morning before we met and notice the fingerprints of Divine activity even over this very difficult turn in our journey:

“The Ark of the covenant of the Lord went before them searching out a resting place for them. My times are in Your hand. He will choose our inheritance for us. Lead me O Lord in your righteousness and make Your way straight before my face. Commit your way to the Lord, trust ALSO in Him, and He shall bring IT to pass. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Your ears will hear a word behind you saying, ‘ this is the way walk in it’ whenever you TURN to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads be beside the still waters. As a father pities his children so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. Cast all your care upon Him for He cares for you. He led them forth by the right way…”

AMAZING and ALIVE were those words to us that day as we wept and prayed and held one another! Wow… God truly has brought comfort to me as I have read these countless times now. Rest was lacking in my heart for a while concerning marriage. I had tastes of Rest but not feasts of Rest about Rob as my One. The Lord is searching out and was then a resting place for me that would be consistent and complete and certain. My times and Rob’s times and our directions are in His hands, not our own. Rob did not choose this journey or this future, He did. Our inheritance and what is eventually to come is His doing and of His choosing. Painful yet powerful. Terrifying but True. Fearful but Freeing…. My future is the Lords to direct and plan not mine to dictate and pursue. You have no idea how hard it is to write that and harder even to realize that and behave in a way that shows I believe that! He promises to teach me His ways and to lead me in the straight pathway. He promises me to show me the direction and then to walk it for me! Rob and I did commit each other and our relationship from the very beginning to the Lord and His glory… however trusting in Him ALSO is in addition to that. I can honestly say that neither one of us completely and securely leaned and trusted upon the Lord. Rob was trying to lead and love and I was trying to submit and surrender to him. It was us trying and us changing and us making things happen... verses living out the realities of grace to one another, because He is in control. He will be the only reason we live, love, respect, surrender, and submit one day to someone. It is a supernatural work of the Spirit not a great human intention of our hearts…. I am praying this way now and asking forgiveness of the Lord for being so full of fear of man, self efforts, arrogance, defensiveness, and bold strength instead of vulnerable strength.

We heard the voice of the Lord in our hearts that day saying THIS IS THE WAY WALK IN IT, even through hand holds and tears, we heard Him communicate that. Oh the pain was ever present with His voice though. There have been many turns in my journey and honestly more turns than straights…. But I must continue to believe Him and trust Him for my future and from my past. He holds both just as real as He holds my present. I cannot focus on my future or ponder my past patterns. I want to learn His lessons and leverage all this for His greater purpose. He is my Shepherd and Rob’s. We are being lead now to places of stillness and resting pastures, though we are separate and single. Rob is sitting and basking in His pasture as am I. I do not want and have confessed any and all self pity… I want the Lord’s pity! I long to fear Him more than image, man, or marriage… and He pities those who fear Him. Fearing the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom… Oh wisdom and discernment was granted that day and needs to be allotted still! I am frail and weary. I am tired and broken. I am hurting and stilled. I am humbled and needy. I am dust. He knows my frame and knows I am nothing but dust. He knows who I need and what I need and when I need it. He knows the sanctification and purification that is taking place and has long needed to in this little girl. Jesus knows I need “all these things” and only He can be the source of those things to me. I am casting my cares and questions upon Him… literally moment by moment… because like Peter said in John, “Lord, to whom else do I have to go?”. There is no other option for me than to run towards and cry on my Father. I cherish and respect Rob’s obedience in driving and saying all he did. I love him dearly. Pray for him. Pray for me. Pray for “us”. He is still one of my best friends, even though we are not sure how that will play out and what that can look like right now.

Pray against loneliness but not against pain. Pray against self pity but not against facing self purging. Pray against despair but not against disappointments. Pray against mental battles and questions but not against memories. Pray for truth to wash me. Pray for wholeness to find me. Pray for continued clothing of strength and dignity as Prov. 31:25 states. I long to laugh and smile at my future… not plan it or fear it. Only a woman that is secure in His love and His plans can let go of all she dreams and all loves and laugh at her future! “For I know the plans I have for you Sarah…declares my Lord.” Thank you for lifting me up and using your mustard seeds of faith to move the mountain ranges of emotions and tribulations ahead. To God be the glory great things He has done and will do and is doing!!!!

I do believe Lord, Help my unbelief! Mark 9:24

“I was brought low and He saved me. Thus far the Lord has helped me.” Blessed be name of the Lord, You give and take away but my heart will choose to say AGAIN blessed be name of the Lord. It is not about my name now or what my married name may be… it never was supposed to be about that.. it has always been about blessing His name. Oh that His name would mean more to me than a diamond ring and a new last name. Please Lord make your name worth more than anything.” He has heard the voice of my supplications as I have cried and meditated upon my bed! The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song (even sacrifices of praise) I will yet Praise Him!!!!” PS. 116:6; Ps.28:6

He Himself is my Peace. Eph 2:14

Spring Time!

I love the Spring after winter. The Lord is so thoughtful and purposeful in creating the seasons of life in the timeline, He did. I dont think I would apprciate the life of spring as much if it didnt follow the death of winter. The flowers' blooms and smells. The skys' hues and shapes. The earth's colors and growth. My own heart's awakenness to "New Life". I was studying this morning over coffee and came across this verse. "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along. For BE-hold(stay upon; mediate in; grab hard to) the winter is past( the same word for passing through the red sea and over the jordan river; denoting movement and transportation from one to another; disappearance of what is behind and visible direction to what is ahead) and the rain is over and gone. The flowers have already appeared(shown themselves and caused themselves to be seen doing their purpose) in the land; The time has arrived for pruning (singing) the vines.." How precious are those Words. The Bible is so specific and directed in how it teaches and exhorts us. My mind is reminded of Zeph 3:17 as well, "The Lord your God is in your midst; A victorious warrior. He will exult (sing, over joyed with, same word is used to described the excitement and passion of a Groom for his bride) over you with joy, He will be quiet in (renew you) in His love, He will rejoice OVER you with SHOUTS (not whispers) of joy." That warms my heart as this sun does my face. Wow.... I notice that He is in my midst admist spring time. One of His names is the DaySpring of Life... that is so what this season is for me. He is springing up new days for me. He is my Day-spring! I love the spring! Let us forget what has been wintered behind and let us press on into the aroma of new life and spring up as new creations, blooming in their purpose as do the visible flowers.

Two's Company

Sometimes the sweetest moments that spark a smile are the smallest surprises that are otherwise overlooked or excused. I was home this weekend with my family. I had gone upstairs to be domestic...you know, laundry folding, vaccuming, and cleaning the bathroom... the typical critera. I was perched neatly on my knees in front of the dryer surrounded by warm clothes in piles, when my daddy walks up the stairs. I love hearing the movement of people around me. I know I am not alone. We began chatting briefly as we swiftly passed by the "woman's room" where I was folding. Then, as if there was a 6th sense to linger, he stopped and stooped down to me. Without a word, daddy began to fold with me. Unasked, unintentionally uninvited, and unmerited...he just wanted to be with me.The key phrase being "with me".



Things, whether extraordinary or completely average and expected in a given day, take on a surprising and fulfilling element when accomplished "with" another. I then began to teach my dad, who has been my teacher in all life's complexities, the simplicities of properly (according to Martha) folding a T-shirt. He was astonished and adorably amused at the technique and the speed that I was doing his shirts. He wanted to learn. We both were laughing, smiling, and folding those shirts in a matter of seconds. A job that I could do alone and was doing so... just took on a new diminsion. That little unexpected moment in the hallway gave me a smile that went deeper than my face. It was great to teach my teacher something simple yet valuable. It was even more great to see the Teacher in that "two's company" moment. The little normal task became marked with joy that seemed too lofty for such an experience... yet it perfectly folded right into it.

My dad and I proceeded to actually re-organize his entire armoire that night with the new technique that he had never known. It was hilarious! We raced at folding and chuckled at each other. It was a sweet father- daughter bonding moment that milestoned a truth for me. "Two IS better than one" as the Bible states so eloquently. Marriage would not be if it were not but for 2. A child would not be if it were not but for 2. Life is done better and with more fulfillment in EVERY task when it is done by Two. Look for opportunities to be Dependent with, not nessecarily on, someone. Folding laundry and organizing took on a whole new meaning when it was done with my Daddy! Oh that we would not be so pridefully "seperate" and "sufficient" and in turn miss daily surprises that are packaged along with someone. "Enlighten the eyes of my heart, Lord, that I might see You..." (Eph. 1)